Here is what you need to know - Read this!
Originally I was going to talk about this later on within the week... However I ended up stumbling among this tweet and immediately thought to write about it. I put everything on hold just for this.
This advice is just 🙌🏻YES, YES & YES ✨
As a person who has always been a hopeless romantic at heart and as a romance writer - which doesn't help at all. I would be lying if I denied ever thinking about what love would hold in the future.
{ Olivia O'Brien's Twitter acount @oliviagobrien }
Even though I'm only 17 it's a normal thing for me to constantly be thinking about not only present time but the future and as the romantic person that I am I have imagined and pictured what 'love' would be like. I truly think that this advice is something all of us should be thinking about.
It feels as though all these romantic books, songs, movies, disney, k-dramas the list could go on and on if I'm being honest. These all paint love into this image where characters are on the journey to search for love. Over-romanticising certain scenes that we don't actually experience in real life. Disney plays a big role in this too, through disney princesses these films show girls from a young age that they'll find a prince charming who will save them and they'll fall in love and live 'happily ever after'. This sets girls up to think that a 'prince' will come to sweep them off their feet and teaches all children to believe that 'a true loves kiss' or the 'perfect match' is something to desire. I'm definitely not saying that it isn't I mean there are days where I cannot wait to find a partner who I am very much in love on hopes to spend the rest of my life with them.
My point is that this tweet reminds me of the romance placed within the media and how it has set us up to feel like we need love in our lives and that it is most important. This increases the want and desire to find what is deemed our 'other half' or "soulmate" which makes us desperately search for love in order to fill a void.
You are a complete and perfect human being all on your own.
It's great that Olivia reminds her followers of this because it is true. We are all humans and we are perfect being by ourselves. You do not need to find your partner first before living your life or constantly feel like you need to search for love - because the reality is we don't. Yes, having a partner and finding the love of your life is a great moment in life but to anyone who's single you'll realise that you're good just were you are. You do not need someone else to complete the 'love' in your life.
Heal yourself before you start worrying about all that other stuff. be alone.
The last thing she mentions I completely agree with - it's to heal yourself before you start to worry
Give yourself the time to heal, whether that be from relationship trauma, anxiety, over-thinking anything really. Healing is a step taken that can lead you to become a much healthier person and connects you spirtitually to understand your thoughts, feelings and behaviours. Heal First, Worry Last is what I would adivce and of course this healing process has no time limit, everyone must find their own ways to heal and they'll do this when it is the right time for them.
Even when I look at myself and although I have never been in a relationship I am trying to heal from past moments in my life, I have begun to stop my search for 'the one' because
Love comes when you least expect it
so no need to search for what will surely come into the future. The universe has a time and place for everything. Be Alone and don't be afraid, if you've done it this far what's a little more time. Love will have its own way of finding you, when you are ready it'll open up to a whole new life experience, so let it find you rather than you trying to find it.
To end of with a note - the only love I will be searching for is SELF-LOVE
If you're sitting here reading this thinking of all the people who love you, the first person you should think about is yourself and having that love for YOURSELF! I am extremely aware that self-love is not easy, it is a lack; even including myself.
I realise that the only person who will always have my back is MYSELF - at the end of the day the only person who won't let you down is YOU and eventually you will start to learn that. I know I am but everyday is a journey, this type of love does not come easily. Speaking for myself I am shy, lack confidence and have many insecurities.
At the moment I have stopped dreaming about being in a relationship as I realise that is not the most important thing in my life currently and ultimately it shouldn't be your main priority too. I've put that aside and am opening myself up for personal growth and have been going on my own journey to improve my self-love. If you'd like to know more about that you can follow my journey here where I will be talking more about it.
Yours Truly Em <3
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Let me know what you think of this post, I'm curious and feel free to share your own personal experiences or thoughts if you are comftorable in doing so :)
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